Ron’s a rent collector from Newcastle on the Tyne
He never turns doon a drink; whisky, beer or wine
The snow was fallin doon this one particular day
When an old woman invites him in and this to him did say
I’ve got just the thing for you     Titty fa la, titty fa ley
To warm you through and through  Titty fa la, titty fa ley
And he went where it was hot, thinking he would get a tot,
But porridge is al’ he got Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Tra la la la la la o’er the wall is oot

Bills a bus driver for a local company
Driving ‘is double decker al’ o’er the country
One day the manager calls him in and sez as from today
Ya one man operated but you’ll get a little more pay
Well ‘e hasn’t gone very far   Titty fa la, titty fa ley
When the bus hits a car   Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Says bill, the fault’s not mine, aa na cause at the time
Aa was upstairs takin’ fares   Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Tra la la la la la o’er the wall is oot

Sean’s a shift worker and when ‘e’s workin’ neets
His wife gets a visit from his mate across the street
One neet Sean came home unexpectedly
There was ructions on that neet, doon in Southfield Lea
He’d come yem for ‘is bait,    Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Caught ‘is wife with Tom ‘is mate   Titty fa la, titty fa ley
His mate ran for the door, faster than ‘e had before
And wasn’t seen nee more    Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Tra la la la la la o’er the wall is oot

There was me an’ the wife an’ the mother in law went to the silvery sea
The mother in law gets in a boat, a sailor she would be
Well the’ hadn’t been twenty yards when aa hears a shoot
The mother in law is in the sea and there she’s splashin’ about
She shoots help aa cannit swim    Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Aa says noo’s the time to lorn   Titty fa la, titty fa ley
The wife says ya hoond, are ye ganna watch ‘a droond
Aa says no I’ll shut me eyes    Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Fa la la la la la o’er the wall is oot

One day when I was walkin doon by the Fellin’ Shore
I met wi Jontys dowter she was stan’in’ at the door
She asked’is in for a cup of tea and cause she was all alain
After the brew she served that neet al be gannin their again
I put me hand upon’a calfs Titty fa la, titty fa ley
She says divent Dee things be halves Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Now I keep hor company and she’s very fond of me
And I’m a bugger for tea Titty fa la, titty fa ley
Tra la la la la la o’er the wall is oot

Traditional with additional lyrics by Wilf Mitford

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This began as a song about a pit pony called ‘Little Chance’ and has been performed in various versions across the British Folk scene for decades, with performances, recordings and versions by the likes of Jack Elliot, Bill Sables, Bob Davenport, Johnny Handle, Louis Killen, and Bob Fox. It’s no surprise then that it became part of Dad’s regular repertoire and it was always a crowd pleaser at gigs.

It appears that by the time Dad picked it up, it had long transitioned from a song about a pit incident and had become a great vehicle for a short limerick with a cracking punchline. Some singers kept the pit story and added the mother-in-law verse, which I personally found a bit odd – it just didn’t flow or have any context though still clearly got a laugh. Others added the version about the cup of tea, whilst others wrote their own versions entirely.

I like Dad’s approach of accepting it’s no longer the pit song anymore and taking the non-pit verses and riffing off them. Each verse had at least some grounding in reality for Dad. For example, if we look at the first verse, Dad worked in the rent assessment department at Newcastle Civic Centre and I’m sure this was either an anecdote from a colleague or just a joke they liked to reel out from time to time.

Bill the bus driver is my Granda Bill Thomspon (Dad’s father-in-law) who worked as a driver on the buses for many years. Bill’s wife Cathy was a bus conductor. They would have been phasing out conductors around the time Dad wrote these lyrics, and I’m sure there were plenty of jokes going around as to the effects of that decision. It’s unlikely the joke is Dad’s original but he knew how to put an idea into a song. He was likely also inspired by the TV series & films ‘On The Buses’ which had plenty of tongue and cheek humour..

Sean the shift worker was based on a true story from the street where we used to live. They would often have big parties on the street at different people’s houses. Sometimes the kids all bunked in together at one house (and had our own mini party), and other times we were put to bed at home with one or other of our parents popping home from time to time to check on us. Apparently, those were safer times! At some stage, when one of these parties was underway, a latecomer noticed their neighbour jumping over another neighbour’s fence. Turns out he had been paying some regular visits to his neighbour’s wife and on this occasion her husband had come home. Or something to that effect. The names have been changed, of course, to protect identities, and I often wonder if those involved heard this song and knew it was about them!!

I always thought the verse about the mother-in-law was written by Dad, as there was an incident when we were kids where my Nanna got in a paddle boat on a boating lake and started to sink. Now I think perhaps that incident was maybe just inspiration for Dad to take on the familiar song and make it his own, as recordings indicate that the mother-in-law verse been around a good 50+ years. I guess mother-in-law jokes have always been relatable!

The cup of tea verse was obviously just on the cusp of what Mum thought was appropriate to perform with our family band. I vividly recall it as it was always the best punchline of them all and got the biggest laugh, but I note it’s not featured on our album recording. I think there was always a tension in terms of what was acceptable at a live performance when you could read the room, and what you’d commit to tape. I can relate to that coming back to performing after all of these years. I realised that many songs have not dated well in terms of what we consider acceptable now, and I’ve questioned whether I should still sing them.

A good traditional example is Sandgate Lass’s Lament, where the narrator jokingly talks about being kicked down the stairs, and I’ve even experienced this with Dad’s Grab A Granny Neet. I do, however, think that songs are important historical sources and give us a window into how things were viewed at a point in time, so I think I’ve come to terms with singing them as they were and not trying to rewrite or censor them for a modern audience. Whether they make it to my own recordings… I suppose time will tell.

In an interview in 2017 he said that someone bootlegged his recording using the verse about Ron the rent collector, citing it all as traditional, and so he decided to rewrite the whole song, including the mother in law verse, naming the new version Friends and Relations.

Dad’s adaptation and rewrite of this originally traditional song is such a great example of his creativity and sense of humour. He loved seeing the reactions from audiences when he performed it

.Here is a video recording from a performance at The Bond, one of our regular bookings, featuring all of Dad’s original verses;

There’s a great thread on Mudcat about the Little Chance , collecting bits of knowledge and the various versions. It also provides a bit more information about where the phrase ‘o’er the waal is oot’ is from. It’s a good example of how songs are often passed on aurally and therefore don’t always come with credits or certainty about who wrote them or who added which parts.

You can also listen to different versions on Spotify and YouTube. I’ve included a few links below;

And you can listen to the High Level Ranter’s performance on Spotfy

O’er the waal is oot by Wilf Mitford is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at https://mitfordmusic.wordpress.com/.